Welcome to the first ever Curve! The Curve is a compilation of the week’s worst celebrity stories that have somehow made it into national press. This week: Coolio baked a crumble, 1D boxer theft and Gaga’s love for Michael Jackson’s singed head.
1) Rochelle Humes in a ‘sticky’ situation
Rochelle Humes of The Saturdays revealed this week that she once had to take a trip to A&E due to an injury which she sustained during sex with her husband, JLS’ Marvin Humes. Refusing to comment on what exactly happened, she did admit that it was her eye which required medical attention.
2) Directioners gain a special trophy
One Direction’s Liam Payne was awoken by an estranged fan on his balcony whilst in Sydney this week. The star took to Twitter to express his shock at the fan who had stolen his drying boxers from outside his room whilst he slept naked inside.
3) Grimes likes it green and furry
The rider of Canadian electronic musician Grimes was leaked this week, and included an unexpected furry friend. Alongside stipulations that everything must be as eco-friendly as possible, it added “If possible, one cute bulldog, French bulldog, pug or pomeranian (or other cute animal, such as chinchilla or pekanese) to visit and hang out.”
4) Ready, Steady, Coolio
This week, legendary rapper Coolio rocked up at a student house in Preston where he performed his hit single ‘Gangsta’s Paradise’ for the group of housemates. In a strange twist of events, he then headed to the kitchen to rustle up a three course meal, finishing with a peach crumble, for his new friends.
5) Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough
Gaga has become embroiled in a £1.25 million battle to win an eight page medical report on the mysterious hair fire incident that the King of Pop had in the 80’s. The report includes graphic photos of the inside of his scalp. Apparently Gaga has a Jackson obsession, having spent nearly one million dollars on Michael Jackson memorabilia last year.
If you have any suggestions for articles please send them to [email protected].