The Edge’s Advent Calendar: #MULLEDWINES


Most among us had an uncomfortable period in 2013 when we all enjoyed bopping along to the rhythm, but were made deeply unsettled by the misogynistic and thoroughly creepy lyrics of, Robin Thicke’s ‘Blurred Lines’. Parodies popped up across the internet, including versions which replaced the lyrics with those regarding topics of a more friendly variety, including Pokemon and Amanda Bynes.

But for a more festive flavour, Radio 1’s Greg James and Chris Smith joined forces with a selection of special guests to bring you the Christmas version – ‘Mulled Wines’.

As ‘Father Chris-Smith’ and ‘Pharr-elf’ – accompanied by Fearne Cotton, Jamie Oliver, Jake Bugg, Coldplay, Bastille and others, in a delightfully budget video – the pair brought out the best in the song’s funk-inspired rhythm with the addition of jingle bells and some solidly seasonal lyrics.

“You know it’s getting close,” the song exclaims. “You’re feeling festive, ain’t ya. You wanna mull some wine – baby, its in your nature.” Much better. What’s more, the backing ‘hey hey hey’ is replaced with ‘ho ho ho’, and the whole affair opened with the instruction to ‘hang your stocking up’.

There are still plenty of double entendres, but in this Christmas-y context they’re a little more palatable. “You feel the chimney rocking, can you hear Santa knocking? He’s here to fill your stocking, but only if you’ve been a good girl.”

‘Blurred Lines’ was a song that, to me, kicked off the revival of 70s and 80s inspired funk – the kind that has brought us ‘Uptown Funk’, ‘Suit & Tie’ and ‘Treasure’. It was such a shame that it’s lyrics were so utterly uncomfortable and awkward. ‘Mulled Wines’ strips that back, and adds some festive flavour in its place.


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Features Editor 2015/16. PhD student. Sorry I give everything five stars, I just have a lot of love in my heart.

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